


Consular With Anger Issues

by Jestana



Series: SWTOR fics [14]
Category: Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-09-15
Packaged: 2018-04-02 04:45:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 11,167
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4046485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jestana/pseuds/Jestana
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She's always been told that she's powerful because her father was powerful but no one will tell her WHO her father is. It's very frustrating at times.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Tython

**Author's Note:**

> Fyonnaa is the daughter of my male Jedi Knight, Fiosynod, and Ranna Tao'Ven. She has... issues to deal with that will affect how she chooses to act. Again, these are just snippets I've written based on what I experience in the game on my second Jedi Consular. As such, there'll be spoilers for bits and bobs of the storyline as I encounter them. As a commenter described it: this is the highlight reel.

"It can't be." She stared at the young female Twi'lek in stunned disbelief.

The young Jedi gazed back with only puzzlement. "Can't be what?"

"You're Jedi Fyonnaa, yes?" Ranna didn't dare make any assumptions.

The other Twi'lek nodded. "Yes, I am. Who are you?"

"I'm the Matriarch of the Pilgrims, Ranna Tao'Ven." She held her breath once she finished speaking, wondering if Fyonnaa would remember.

The brown eyes so like her own widened with surprise. "Mother?"

"Yes. I didn't expect to see you again." She managed a watery smile.

Fyonnaa shrugged, folding her arms across her chest. "Apparently, I'm unusually powerful, so my training was accelerated."

"I-- Really?" She'd known _he_ was powerful, but hadn't expected him to pass it on to his daughter. "That's-- That's wonderful."

She shrugged again. "I suppose. A lot of my trainers said it wasn't too much of a surprise, given how powerful my father is."

"They're right. He _is_ powerful." She'd admit that much.

Her daughter made a frustrated noise. " _Who_ is he, though? No one will _tell_ me."

"It's better this way." Ranna ached to hold her daughter, but she held herself back. She'd given up that right when she gave her daughter to the Jedi.

The brown eyes narrowed. "Better for whom, Mother? I'm not planning to track him down and beg him to take me in. I just want to know _who_ he is."

"I'm sorry." Her voice was little more than a whisper. "I promised I wouldn't."

The Padawan threw her hands up in disgust. "Forget it, then. You're _not_ my mother!"

"Fyonnaa!" she gasped, the words cutting her deeply.

Her daughter shook her head. "No, Matriarch. You gave up the right long ago and you know it."

With that, she turned and walked away. Ranna bowed her head, blinking back tears. _I'm sorry, Fio. There's so much anger in her, like there was in you._


	2. Coruscant

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that she's shielded Master Yuon, she has to adjust to losing some of her strength.

_"Herald all right?"_ Qyzen asked as he and Fyonnaa headed to the spaceport.

The Twi'lek shook her head, lekku swinging with the movement. "I feel... strange." She held her hands out in front of her and flexed her fingers. "I'm weaker, but not exactly."

_"Noetikons said you'd lose a portion of your strength,"_ he reminded her, his nose twitching at the mingled smells of fuel and oil as they passed the taxi droid.

She grimaced, dropping her hands so one rested on the saberstaff hilt at her hip. "I know, but they couldn't say the exact form that would take. Would I lose some of my physical strength or my ability with the Force or both?"

_"Which is it?"_ He guessed she had an answer for that.

Fyonnaa sighed deeply and gestured towards a crate sitting nearby. It didn't move immediately and she stopped. This time, she held her hand out towards the crate, brown eyes determined. Finally, it lifted several centimeters into the air, and then dropped. She let out a deep breath. "My ability with the Force. That took more concentration and effort than it has in the past."

_"Practice with the lesser abilities."_ That was the best suggestion he could offer. _"Get used to them to better survive in the future."_

She nodded, sliding her fingers under her headband to rub her temples. "That gave me a headache, too." Qyzen remained silent, aware that she was merely talking out loud. "Thank you for coming with me. I have a feeling I'm going to need your help if I have to keep shielding people from this Sith or whoever it is."

_"Is another option."_ If she were Yuon, he wouldn't even suggest this, but something he'd seen in her as they worked together on Coruscant suggested that she'd be more open to the idea.

They stepped onto the lift and Fyonnaa turned to him curiously. "What other option could there be? If I don't shield them, they'll end up like Yuon."

_"Could kill them. Would stop them and wouldn't sacrifice your strength."_ He spoke matter-of-factly. He personally would prefer it because it meant more points.

She stared at him with wide eyes. "That sort of defeats the point of my going to find these masters, you know."

_"Yuon ashamed of what she did while sick."_ Qyzen hoped she would understand what he was trying to convey. _"Other masters will be, too. Save them shame by killing them."_

Fyonnaa sighed as the lift stopped and they stepped off. "I'll keep your suggestion in mind."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You can't tell me Qyzen wouldn't suggest this at some point. It's not something the Consular would think of on their own, but it has to get in their heads somehow (apart from the victims ASKING to be killed).


	3. After Taris

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyonnaa followed Qyzen's advice and feels awful for it. He has a new suggestion for her.

Qyzen found her curled up on the couch in the lounge, just sitting in the darkness. _"Something wrong, Herald?"_

"I feel horrible," Fyonnaa told him, her voice quiet.

She blinked when he turned on the light. _"Why? Strength not sacrificed."_

"No, it wasn't, but was it worth Master Tyken's life?" She gestured with one hand and a datapad sitting on a nearby table lifted into the air and flew into her hand. "I've adapted well enough to my diminished strength."

He sat down opposite her, puzzled by her reaction. _"Killed before. Never bothered you."_

"I didn't really have a choice in the matter. They'd have killed _me_ if I hadn't killed _them_." She folded her arms across her chest, staring at nothing. "Master Tykan, though. He'd stopped fighting. I _could_ have shielded him, like I did Master Yuon."

Honestly, he was trying to understand, but their cultures were so different. _"You could have stayed your blade, but didn't? That's why you feel bad?"_

"Yes. I was sent to shield him, after all." She blinked and her eyes focused on him. "I'm sorry, Qyzen. This probably makes no sense to you."

He shrugged. _"Sort of see, but he was sick. Killing made him better."_

"Jedi are taught to cherish life wherever we find it." Fyonnaa sighed deeply, drawing her knees to her chest. "To show mercy to our enemies and Master Tyken wasn't _really_ my enemy. He was a fellow Jedi."

Qyzen shook his head. _"Sorry, Herald, for advice that has given you pain. Perhaps shielding would be better."_

"Yes. I'll work to get used to losing strength and hope that we find a way to end this plague completely." She looked relieved, as if a weight had been lifted off her chest.

He nodded, pleased to see her looking happier. _"Will help, Herald."_

"Thanks, Qyzen."


	4. Nar Shaddaa

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Enter Tharan Cedrax.

"Are you all right, Jedi?" Tharan asked, watching the Twi'lek lean against the wall of the lift.

Fyonnaa nodded, slipping her fingers under her headband to massage her temples. "Yes, I'm fine, Dr. Cedrax."

"Are you sure?" He may act nonchalant and selfish, but he really did care about people and he'd come to like this young Twi'lek as they'd worked together.

She nodded again, annoyance flashing across her face briefly. "I'm sure. It's nothing I haven't had to deal with before."

"When you said that shielding the victims take a portion of your strength--" he trailed off, not certain how to finish the question.

Fyonnaa straightened up when the lift came to a stop. "I meant exactly that. I'm weaker than I was when I arrived on Nar Shaddaa and my ability to use the Force is lessened as well."

_"Necessary sacrifice."_ Her Trandoshen friend had clearly been waiting for them. _"Herald succeeded, then?"_

She rolled her eyes as she stepped off the lift and started towards the taxi. "Of course we succeeded, Qyzen. If we hadn't, we wouldn't be here."

"There is no need to be rude to your friend, Jedi," Tharan chided gently.

Surprisingly, Qyzen responded, _"Is fine, soft one. Herald is tired. Makes her cranky."_

"I am _not_ cranky." She glared at the two of them. They only gazed back at her. Then she sighed and her shoulders slumped. "All right, fine, maybe I am a little cranky."

The scientist lightly wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "Why don't you stop at my office and take a nap now that the danger is past?"

_"Be more respectful of Herald, soft one."_ He was pretty sure the Trandoshen glared at him.

Fyonnaa laughed softly, requiring help from both of them to climb into the taxi. "Actually, a nap sounds real good, Qyzen. I don't think I can last long enough to get to the ship."

"I assure you that I only wish to offer you a place to sleep." He may find her attractive, but he had his standards and limits.

She nodded, stifling a yawn as he and Qyzen climbed in on either side of her. "I can sense your sincerity, Tharan."

"Well, good." He settled back in his seat as the taxi took off. By the time they reached the promenade, Fyonnaa had fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder.

Qyzen climbed out first and carefully scooped her up. Tharan climbed out and led the way to his office and the small back room that he'd furnished with a pull-out couch. Once he'd turned it into a bed, Qyzen laid her down on it and Tharan carefully removed the trappings of her attire that would make sleep more uncomfortable for her. Once he'd done that, he piled it on a nearby table and quietly left the room. He found the Trandoshen pacing his office restlessly. _"Herald still asleep?"_

"She is." He settled at his desk, staring at the datapads piled on top. "I'm not sure how long she'll sleep, but you don't need to stay here."

After staring at him for a long moment, Qyzen nodded. _"Will go prepare ship for departure."_

"Good idea." Alone with his thoughts, he returned his attention to the pile of datapads. Without even looking, he knew what each one would contain. Then he glanced at the door behind which Fyonnaa slept. _Perhaps it's time for a change of scenery._


	5. Tatooine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shielding takes more out of Fyonnaa each time.

"Jedi Fyonnaa!" Rowan exclaimed once Master Eriz left.

Turning, Tharan helped support Fyonnaa, whose knees had buckled. She grumbled as she leaned against Delk, "I really hate this part."

"Would you rather have killed him?" Tharan asked tartly, finding nothing wrong with her besides extreme exhaustion.

Fyonnaa shook her head, grimacing. "No, this'll pass. I just need sleep."

"I know." Tharan knew better than to offer her a stim. She'd turned one down after shielding Laranna. "Will you let us help you to the speeders?"

She nodded, her smile wry. "I don't think I can make it to them before I fall asleep."

"Is this typical?" Rowan asked as they started walking through the cave.

He disliked having the other man's help, but Tharan didn't have the strength to get her out of the cave on his own. "For shielding someone, yes. Not all Jedi healing techniques take so much out of the healer."

"She mentioned that she's shielded others." The scientist bristled at the admiration in Delk's eyes as he looked down at the Twi'lek, who was practically asleep on her feet.

They blinked when they emerged from the cave into the bright day. Fyonnaa grumbled, burying her face in Tharan's shoulder. "Turn off the light."

"If only I could, my dear Jedi," he chuckled, squeezing her hand.

They reached the spot where they'd parked their speeders and found a third waiting there. Rowan turned to them. "Say, uh, you can take my speeder, Dr. Cedrax. It has a sidecar on it."

"These aren't our speeders, though." He was grateful for the offer, supporting Fyonnaa as the native turned on his speeder and activated the sidecar.

He turned back and helped Fyonnaa climb into the sidecar. The moment she was seated, she curled into a ball. "I know who you got 'em from. If you give me the info you used when you rented 'em, I'll return 'em for you."

"Thank you very much." Tharan pulled out his datapad to transfer the necessary information. He also sent a message to Qyzen, asking him to meet them at Anchorhead.

He carefully climbed onto the speeder, taking a moment to glance over the controls. "Take care of yourself and her, Dr. Cedrax. If there's anything else I can do for you, let me know."

"I will." Satisfied that he was familiar with this model of speeder, Tharan shifted it into gear and set off for Anchorhead. _I hope we figure out who this Lord Vivicar is soon. I'm not sure how many more Jedi she can shield._


	6. Alderaan and After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyo has a request for Tharan and meditates once they're on their way to Tython

"So much for going to House Teral today." Fyonnaa sighed as they emerged from making their report to the Duke. "We'll just have to go first thing in the morning."

Tharan tried not to make a face. He was _not_ a morning person. "Well, helping the Duke was the right thing to do."

"I know." She rubbed her eyes as they climbed the stairs that led to the suite they'd been given in the palace. "I'm not feeling up to a feast, actually. Are you?"

He shook his head, even though it'd sounded wonderful at the time. "After the day we've had? I'd rather just sit somewhere quiet."

"My thoughts exactly." They entered the suite and Tharan immediately removed his coat, hanging it on the coatstand by the door.

Fyonnaa removed her cloak and hung it up as well. "How are you feeling? Still having a reaction to the sedative Thul used on you?"

"I'm fine. Whatever you used to counter it did its job." She tossed her gloves and bracers onto the coffee table as she sat down on the couch.

Tossing his gloves after hers, he opened his medkit. "Mind if I double-check that?"

"Go ahead." She sat still as he scanned her, and then began to wrestle with her boots.

He studied the readings and nodded to himself at what he found. "All fixed. I wish I knew which sedative that was so I can know to avoid it in the future."

"You'll figure it out." Fyonnaa grunted, and then sighed. "Can you help me with these?"

Nodding, Tharan helped her remove her boots and she wiggled her toes with a relieved sigh once they were off. Following her example, he removed his own boots as well. "We both need food. I can ask a servant to bring some."

"That sounds like a plan, but--" she caught his arm before he could stand up "--before you do, is Holiday around?"

Curious, he shook his head as he settled back onto the couch. "No, she's in sleep mode for the night. Do you need her?"

"No, I have something very private I'd like to ask you." Fyonna released his arm and clasped her hands in her lap.

He shifted to face her fully, tucking one leg up underneath him. "I'm all ears, my dear Jedi."

"Fyo, please." She glanced up at him shyly and that piqued his curiosity even more. He'd never known her to be shy before now. She'd taken on numerous larger and stronger opponents without batting an eye. Even talking with the General and Duke, she hadn't shown any sign of bashfulness. Now here she was, talking with him, someone she'd known for several months, and she was shy! "This is-- I, um--"

Tharan lightly touched her shoulder, trying to be reassuring. "Take your time, Fyo."

"Right." She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I've picked up on the fact that you've bedded your share of women. Am I correct?"

That caught him by surprise. _Of all the things for her to ask about,_ that's _what she chooses?_ He stroked his beard. "Well, yes, you could say that. Why do you ask?"

"I trained to be a Jedi since I was a child." Finally, she looked up at him. "I know the Code tells us not to follow our passions, but I honestly can't see myself being able to follow that."

Tharan held up his hands, caught by surprise. "Wait a minute, Fyo. We--"

"I'm not finished." She pressed a finger to his lips and he reluctantly closed his mouth. "I like you, Tharan, as a friend, and I hoped you could teach me about sex. Show me how to please my partner and be pleased by him. That way, if I _should_ find someone I might love, I'll know what I'm doing."

He stared at her in utter shock. Of all the things he'd expected her to ask him, that was one of the last! Plenty of women had outright propositioned him the past. He was, after all, a very handsome man. Fyonnaa was the first to make this sort of request of him! "I'll-- I'll need time to consider it. You've caught me off guard."

"Thank you for even considering it and not dismissing it out of hand." Smiling, she leaned over and kissed his cheek. Then she got up and moved to the door to make a request of the servant.

Tharan remained seated on the couch, still a little stunned. _There's a first time for everything, I suppose._

* * *

"Set course for Tython," Fyonnaa ordered Qyzen and Tharan. "I need to meditate."

While the Trandoshen headed to the cockpit, the human followed her towards her rooms. "Fyo, you need to eat, too."

"I know and I will." She turned and caught his hand in hers. "Just, right now, I need to meditate. I'm sure the answers I'm looking for are all right in front of me."

The scientist stared at her for a long moment before reluctantly nodding. "Very well. We'll get you safely to Tython."

"Thanks, Tharan." She stretched up to kiss his cheek. She appreciated his concern for her, but this was something she needed to do.

Squeezing his hand, Fyonnaa turned and continued on to her quarters. She changed into a simple tunic and pants and knelt on the mat. She began by focusing on her breathing, feeling the air fill her lungs and lift her ribs, and then exhaling, slowly and steadily. When her mind was empty of everything except that, she turned her attention to everything the Masters and Laranna had said when she confronted them.

_"Parkanas! Parkanas, where are you?"_

_"The darkness...destroyed our friend, Parkanas Tark."_

_"I fell behind, and he ran back to save me. He became trapped--we had to leave him. It was my weakness that killed him."_

_"It's my fault Parkanas died. Malachor Three. I miscalculated! He had to be left behind. He died because of me!"_

Withdrawing from the memories, Fyonnaa focused on what they could mean. "All of them mentioned Parkanas except Laranna and Master Tyken. All of the Masters were at Malachor Three. Laranna's too young to have been there, but Lord Vivicar 'healed' her."

_"I'm not mad! the man in the shadows is making me this way!"_

_"He is--he commands me. I--I can't--"_

_"Lord Vivicar will never stop."_

_"Lord Vivicar warned me about your lies!"_

_"I hear Lord Vivicar's voice. I've failed him."_

_"Vivicar! My head! Please, I can't block out his voice any longer."_

Frowning, Fyonnaa stood up and sat at her desk, using her computer to access the Jedi Archives. Not surprisingly, the entry on Malachor Three was heavily sealed and she didn't have the authority to access it. She found information on Parkanas and her gut clenched when she saw his picture. The resemblance was unmistakable. "Parkanas is Lord Vivicar. This has been a personal attack all along. Even Laranna was personal because she's Master Fain's daughter. How am I going to tell them?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Since we didn't get any explanation of how the Consular figures out who Vivicar is, I wrote something to fill in that gap (and I'm not the first). For the record, Tharan did agree to Fyo's request and they had a very pleasant night together.


	7. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyonnaa talks to her mother.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SPOILERS FOR THE END OF JEDI CONSULAR CHAPTER ONE.
> 
> The chapter itself is very emotional, too. T_T

"Matriarch, there's someone here to see you." Her assistant's voice distracted her from her work.

Rubbing her eyes, she stood up. "I'll be right there."

"Yes, Matriarch." Bowing slightly, her assistant withdrew.

Ranna took a few moments to splash water on her face in an effort to relieve the ache behind her eyes. She spent too much time staring at datapads these days. She stopped short when she emerged from her office and saw who waited for her. "Jedi Fyonnaa?"

"Matriarch." The younger Twi'lek stood and greeted her with a wan smile.

Clasping her hands behind her back, she asked, "What brings you here, Master Jedi?"

"I'm not here as a Jedi." Fyonnaa seemed to flinch at the term. "I'm here as your daughter."

Ranna folded her arms across her chest, skeptical. "Funny, I seem to recall you saying that I _wasn't_ your mother the last time we saw each other."

"I was stupid and angry and frustrated when I said that." Fyonnaa turned away for a moment. When she turned back, there were tears in her brown eyes. "Right now, I _really_ need someone to talk to and you're the only person I can think of."

As much as the admission warmed her, she couldn't forget how much her daughter's denial had hurt. "Why not talk to your master?"

"I _can't_." Fyonnaa's words were anguished. "She's _dead_. So many are dead, all because of me!"

With that, she broke down, harsh sobs seeming to rip themselves from her chest. It would take a harder heart than Ranna's to remain unmoved. Hurrying forward, she wrapped her arms around her daughter. "It's all right, Fyo, I'm here for you."

"I'm... so... sorry." Fyonnaa gasped between sobs, clinging to her mother. "I didn't... mean to... do it... To kill them."

Ranna rubbed her back soothingly. "Shh. Why don't you start from the beginning?"

"Let's go for a walk while I tell you." Fyonnaa calmed enough to straighten up, still wiping tears from her eyes.

She nodded. "That's fine."

They left the Matriarch's home and wandered the paths now safe from the Flesh Raiders. As they did, Fyonnaa told her mother everything that had happened to her since they'd last seen each other. "We finally had Lord Vivicar at our mercy and, even though I'd felt so bad after killing Master Tyken, I still-- I was just so _mad_ \-- He'd made Yuon and the other masters suffer _so_ much, reliving what happened on Malachor Three, the worst time of their lives. I--"

"You killed him, didn't you?" Ranna guessed, wrapping an arm around Fyonnaa's shoulders.

Her daughter nodded, covering her eyes with one hand. "I did. He'd warned me that, if I killed him, everyone he'd touched and bound with the plague would die, too. Even the Jedi I'd shielded were still bound to him. I thought he was bluffing but--"

"He wasn't, was he?" She kept her voice gentle, but Fyonnaa still flinched as if she'd been struck.

Slowly, she shook her head. "They're all dead now: Yuon, Duras, Laranna, Eriz, and Sidionie. Not _just_ them, either. He'd managed to touch so many Jedi and now they're all _dead_ , because of me." She crumpled then and Ranna barely managed to catch her.

"I'm so sorry, Fyo," she whispered, brushing a kiss across her forehead. "I wish I could take away your pain and grief."

Fyonnaa continued to cry and Ranna guided her to sit on a nearby log. All she could do was sit and hold her daughter, offering her what little comfort she could. _Decisions like this will always haunt us. Perhaps now you'll stop and think before you give in to your anger._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is 100% what happens if you kill Lord Vivicar instead of shielding him. When Master Syo contacts you via holo, he tells you that all the masters you've shielded (if you've shielded any of them instead of killing them) just suddenly died and you get mail from Master Kaden (I think), telling you that a bunch of other Jedi are dead, too: 12 pages worth of names. SO MANY FEELS as a result.
> 
> And you're still named Barsen'thor. And Master Yuon was there! Even though she's dead! o_O


	8. Balmorra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyonnaa and Zenith sneak their way through the Balmorran Arms Factory.

"Have you used a stealth generator before?" Fyonnaa asked Zenith as they paused to catch their breath after fighting a group of Imperials.

He nodded briefly, checking that his rifle was still in working order. "I have. Why?"

"In tandem?" she responded with another question, examining her warstaff. Watching her, he wondered why she didn't use a lightsaber like other Jedi.

This time, he shook his head. "No. Easier to stealth as individuals."

"It requires a certain amount of trust." She shrugged and straightened up, bracing her staff in her hands. Before he could think of something to say, she waved one hand and-- disappeared from view. Zenith stiffened and narrowed his eyes, watching for a distortion like he would for someone using a stealth generator. The next moment, he felt the tip of a blade against his spine. When he turned his head, the female Twi'lek was visible once more, smirking. "I can hide both of us from sight, but only if we're standing side-by-side and walk in sync."

The male Twi'lek thought of the Trandoshen who'd fought beside her, so much taller and bulkier than both of them. "Have you done it before?"

"In training, and with Tharan." She moved to stand before him once more. "Qyzen prefers the direct approach."

He wondered who 'Tharan' was, but only nodded. "It's quiet for now. Teach me."

"Have your rifle ready in one hand." She stood on his other side. "Put your arm around me."

Zenith stared at her. "What?"

"It'll be easier to walk in sync if one of us has an arm around the other and I need both hands for my weapon." She rolled her brown eyes in exasperation, but her tone was patient.

He nodded briefly and slid his arm around her waist, taking hold of her belt, careful not to put pressure on her lekku. "Good?"

"Good. Now we walk in step. Right leg first." Their first few steps were in sync, but his longer stride threw them off. They stopped and she turned to him "I can't make my legs longer. You'll have to take shorter steps."

He nodded again, wondering why he was so aware of her. He'd met his share of female Twi'leks, both Imperial slaves and resistance fighters. Why was this Jedi any different from them? "I forgot for a moment."

"I'm shorter than everyone. I'm used to it." This time, he remembered to shorten his stride and it worked better.

Then she waved her hand and he felt _something_ settle over his body. When they approached a group of Imperials, he tensed, but none of them reacted. Even when they looked straight at him, they didn't react. He tapped his thumb against her waist to reassure her as they continued through the factory and she nudged him with her elbow. He was surprised to realize she was shaking with suppressed laughter and wondered what she could be laughing at while they were trying to sneak past enemies. (He learned later that her sides were very ticklish and the simple brush of his thumb had set her off.)

When they reached a group they _had_ to fight, he slid his hand to her back, doing a silent countdown. At zero, he felt the _something_ lift and Fyonnaa leapt through the air directly into the group of Imperials, warstaff already whirling and flashing. While they reeled in surprise at her attack, Zenith picked them off. Sensing something behind him, he tucked and rolled, coming up into a crouch to fire at a group of Imperials who'd walked up behind him.

The next moment, he felt Fyonnaa step lightly onto his left shoulder in order to vault herself at the new group, cloak and warstaff flying as she fought. When they finished, the Imperials lay dead and she wiped a hand across her forehead, smearing the blood that had splattered there. Zenith wasn't sure what possessed him to do it, but he lightly cupped her chin in his hand and carefully wiped away all of the blood. She gently drew her chin away from his grip and resettled her headband. "Thanks."

"Welcome." He settled his rifle into position and, at her nod, slid his arm around her waist once more, wondering why he was so aware of her when they would part ways soon. She waved her hand and they proceeded deeper into the arms factory.


	9. Quesh

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, mind games actually WORK on people.

"Something wrong?" Zenith found Fyonnaa seated on the bench outside the shower cubicles, the white of her tunic and pants a subtle contrast to her orange skin. What concerned him most, however, was the fact that she had her head in her hands.

She looked up at him and he was surprised by the fear and worry and he saw on her face. Before now, she'd always been calm, confident, and sure. "I can't get his words out of my head."

"He's wrong. His mind game was weak." He sat down beside her, feeling a little out of his depth.

Fyonnaa shook her head, her lekku brushing his arm in the process. "No, he's right. If Master Syo had been given this assignment--"

"He'd still have to prove the Republic's commitment." Tai had briefed Zenith on the situation before the former had left the Jedi's ship, so he knew the situation she'd faced. "The Rift Alliance formed for a reason. Words mean nothing without actions to back it up."

She pressed the heels of her hands against her eyes. "The only reason I knew about the station was because Senator Grell decided to tell me about it anyway. What does _that_ say about how much the others trust me?"

"They don't trust easily. Neither do I." He took hold of her wrists and gently drew her hands away from her eyes. They were reddened from the pressure. "You're proving yourself, though. You helped free my planet from the Imps. You helped save Attis Station. They'll apologize when we get back to the ship. You'll see."

She shook her head again, but made no attempt to free herself from his grip. "I wish it were that simple. _Why_ did the Council choose _me_ of all people for this?"

"They felt you were equal to the task." Zenith shrugged and reluctantly released her wrists when he saw the sergeant returning with their gear.

Fyonnaa gave a humorless chuckle at that. "I wish I could believe that."

Before he could ask her to explain that, she scooped up her gear and slipped into her shower cubicle to change. He picked up his to do the same. "What about Nadia?"

"What about her?" She sounded more like herself now and it comforted him to hear that.

He finished pulling his leathers on and checked his rifle to ensure they hadn't wrecked it by accident. "She used the Force against the Imps, didn't she?"

"It certainly felt like she was using the Force." Fyonnaa sounded thoughtful now. "I'll talk to her father and ask him about it. We know so little about their home planet."

Satisfied that everything was in order, Zenith exited his cubicle. "If one can use the Force, others can, too."

"I'm already planning to ask about that, too." She exited her cubicle and he couldn't see any sign of the uncertain, fearful Twi'lek from earlier.

As he followed her to their ship, he wondered how much of the confident, serene Jedi Master was an act and how much was reality. _If it_ is _an act, why did she let me see her with her guard down like that?_


	10. Hoth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with injuries and stims.

Fyonnaa staggered as they emerged from the ice cave and only Zenith's quick reflexes kept her from pitching face-first into the snow. "C'mon, Fyonnaa."

"What?" She gave only token resistance as he steered her to their speeders and the medkit he had stowed on the back of his, courtesy of Tharan. The scientist may get on his nerves occasionally, but he cared deeply about their Jedi. "Zenith?"

He released her arm to dig out the medkit. "You took a couple nasty hits from that pirate leader. Need to take care of them."

"Objecting won't do me any good, will it?" She leaned heavily against the side of his speeder as he removed his gloves.

Shaking his head, he stepped closer to her, asking permission with his eyes. She stared at him for a moment, and then nodded. He carefully tugged her shirt free of her pants and winced at the deep cut that started on her side and curved around to her back. "How'd he get past your guard?"

"Jedi aren't perfect fighters, you know." She held her shirt out of the way as he carefully cleaned away the blood. "And that pirate was bouncing all over the place."

He nodded his agreement, carefully placing a kolto pad over the cut. "Made it hard to get good shots at him. Was afraid I'd hit you."

"I wondered why I didn't hear your rifle as often as I normally do." She sounded amused rather than annoyed. "I managed."

Zenith winced when she shifted and turned her back to him so he could tend to another, deeper gash she'd received, this time vertical and disappearing under her belt. _This'll be interesting._ "Need to take off your belt."

"Go ahead." She looked over her shoulder at him. "I have my hands full."

Swallowing, he moved around her to unbuckle her belt and slide it free of her pants. He draped it over his speeder and pushed the waistband of her pants down far enough so he could clean the wound. "Regenerative armor sounds useful."

"For less-experienced fighters, yes." She nodded, her lekku brushing his arms as he worked. "It's made Valon sloppy, though."

He glanced up in surprise, carefully easing the sides of the cut together with the fingers of one hand while he smoothed kolto gel onto the cut in order to give the healing process a jump start. "Sloppy?"

"Yes. I noticed it when we confronted him over the thermal bore device. He barely bothered to block my attacks." She shivered and he absently rubbed her back soothingly, careful to avoid tickling her. "Just went after me."

Zenith carefully smoothed a kolto pad over the cut once he was satisfied the gel was doing its job. "Couldn't tell from where I was standing, but I don't know much about it anyway."

"I could teach you if you'd like." She tucked her shirt back into her pants and accepted her belt when he handed it to her. "At least give you a few pointers."

He watched her thread the belt through her belt loops and buckle it. "Maybe. Let's focus on Valon. Get those soldiers off this iceball."

"I thought you two would be long gone by now!" Lieutenant Iresso called as he and his men emerged from the cave as well, waving at them.

Fyonnaa waved back as Zenith repacked his medkit. "We were just taking care of some injuries."

"A word of advice," Felix suggested, approaching them as Zenith put his gloves back on, "take care of any injuries inside, out of the wind. It's less uncomfortable."

He nodded shortly, not sure what to make of the way the soldier looked at the Jedi. "Noted."

"Thanks, Lieutenant." Fyonnaa moved to her speeder and climbed onto it. "Ready, Zenith?"

Zenith put his medkit away and climbed onto his. "Ready."

"See you at the dreadnought, Lieutenant."

"See you."

* * *

"Fyo!" Zenith caught her when she stumbled into him as they started up the ramp to her ship.

She clutched his arm with one hand while she clawed at her throat with the other. "Th-Tharan. Get me to... Tharan."

"Right." He scooped her into his arms and carried her the rest of the way up the ramp.

Just as he reached the hatch, it slid open to reveal Nadia and Tharan. "I _told_ you they-- Master Fyonnaa! What happened to her?"

"Don't know." He held still as the scientist scanned her. "One moment, she was fine, the next, she couldn't seem to breathe."

Tharan muttered a few words under his breath that Zenith didn't understand and placed an oxygen mask over her nose and mouth. "Get her to the medbay. Her debriefing can wait."

"Agreed." The Twi'lek strode through the ship to the medbay, trying not to think of how small and fragile she seemed in his arms. The exclamations of the other ambassadors as they saw him with her registered only peripherally.

He set her on one of the medbeds and tried to step back, except Fyonnaa had a firm hold of his arm despite being unconscious. He looked helplessly at Tharan when the scientist entered and firmly closed the door behind him. Smiling wryly, the human told him, "You can stay, so long as I can do my work."

"Right." He rested one hip against the medbed as Tharan took a blood sample and inserted it into the analyzer.

Turning to the Twi'lek, he asked, "What happened?"

"Told you already." He shook his head, looking down at her still face. She looked so young. "Just suddenly couldn't breathe."

The analyzer beeped and Tharan turned to read the results, muttering a few choice words. As he rifled through his medical supplies, he asked, "Did she receive any injections from anyone besides you?"

"A stim to help us recover from the cold when we got off the shuttle." He frowned as the scientist slid a vial into an injector and removed the oxygen mask.

Muttering again, the human pressed the injector to the Jedi's neck and she took in a deep breath. "The stim they gave her reacted badly to her mixed physiology."

"Mixed?" That surprised Zenith. She looked like a typical female Twi'lek to him!

Tharan nodded, preparing another injection. "Yes. Her mother's Twi'lek, but her father isn't. As a consequence, she has to be careful of the stims and medications she uses. Some of them interact badly with her mixed physiology."

"What species is her father?" He lightly brushed the backs of his fingers against her cheek as Tharan administered the second injection.

The scientist sounded frustrated. "I'm not sure. She actually has _three_ different DNA markers instead of two, which suggests that her father also had mixed physiology."

"You're hiding something." He narrowed his eyes at the human.

Before Tharan could reply, Fyonnaa spoke up from the bed, her voice weak. "The other two DNA markers are human and Sith Pureblood."

"Take it easy, Fyo." Tharan hurried to her side to keep her from getting up.

Zenith could only stare at her in surprise. He could see no hint of her Sith Pureblood heritage. She had no protrusions or ridges like the few Sith Purebloods he'd seen on Balmorra. For all intents and purposes, she _looked_ like a full-blooded Twi'lek. "You don't know for sure?"

"I never knew him." She shrugged, looking wary, resisting Tharan's attempts to make her lie down and rest. "He was a Jedi, but that's all I know about him. My trainers knew who he was, but they refused to tell me, since we're not supposed to form attachments." She made a face. "And Mother won't tell me for the same reason."

Tharan wrapped an arm around her shoulders and squeezed gently. Zenith had grown used to the casual affection they showed towards each other, but something in him still didn't like it. "You've done just fine without knowing who he is anyway."

"Still want to know," she muttered, leaning into the scientist for a moment before yawning.

Tharan helped her lay down and Zenith took the opportunity to free his arm from her grip, trying to sort through everything he'd just learned. "Rest, Fyo."

"The ambassadors can wait for once," Tharan added, shooting a surprised glance at Zenith.

Nodding briefly at the other male, he left the medbay. Nadia waited nearby, looking worried. "Is she all right, Mr. Zenith?"

"Just a bad reaction to a stim, Miss Grell." He managed a reassuring smile for her sake. "She's resting right now."

Looking relieved, the young female nodded. "Thanks! I'll tell the others."

He watched her go and turned to go to his room. He had a lot of thinking to do.


	11. Building and Exploring

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyonnaa and Nadia visit Tython

"Tython is so beautiful and peaceful," Nadia remarked as she stood with Fyonnaa on the front steps of the Jedi Temple. "Is that why you asked Father to let me come with you?"

She nodded, smiling fondly. "In part. This is where Jedi Padawans finish their training and become Jedi. Some do all their training here. Others train on other worlds and only come here for their final trials."

"Which category did you fall into?" Nadia asked as they started down the steps together.

Fyonnaa shrugged. "Technically? The latter. However, I was born on Tython."

"Why didn't you do all of your training here, then?" Nadia's brow furrowed in puzzlement.

Pushing away the familiar resentment, Fyonnaa explained simply. "Jedi are discouraged from forming attachments, so Mother agreed to send me away for training when I was still young."

"Your own mother sent you away?" Nadia actually stopped and stared for a moment. Then she hurried to catch up because Fyonnaa didn't stop walking. "How could she?"

"It was for the best." When Nadia reached her side, she squeezed the younger woman's arm reassuringly. "I agreed to go. If I hadn't, I would have stayed on Tython instead."

Nadia gave a relieved sigh. "Oh, that's good." She looked around curiously. "Where are we going?"

"The Forge, where the ancient Jedi used to construct their lightsabers, the traditional weapon of the Jedi." Fyonnaa carefully weighed the pouch in her hands. _Am I really ready for this?_

Sounding puzzled, Nadia asked, "I've been meaning to ask you about that. All the other Jedi we've encountered have used them. Why not you?"

"Mine... broke." Her mouth twisted into a wry smile. "I haven't had time to construct a new one until now. That's why I've been using a warstaff instead. I thought you'd like the chance to see for yourself how Jedi make them."

As she'd expected, Nadia's face lit up with a huge smile. "Oh, yes! I'd love to see that."

"For the most part, Jedi are supposed to gather the materials that make up a lightsaber on their own." She hefted the bag in her hand. "That's what's in here. Sometimes, they're allowed to skip that step. That's only in rare cases, though."

Nadia looked thoughtful as they trotted through the cave system that would eventually take them to the Forge. "The lightsaber is really important, isn't it?"

"Yes." She nodded, checking that everything was safe before exiting the cave. "It usually marks that we're no longer Padawans, but full-fledged Jedi."

Nadia kept pace easily, eyes wide as she took in their surroundings. "You must not have felt like much of a Jedi lately, using that warstaff instead."

_That hit almost too close to home._ Forcing a smile at the younger woman's interest, Fyonnaa asked, "Would you like to explore a bit once I've finished constructing my new lightsaber?"

"Could we please? I've never seen ruins so well preserved!" Her eagerness was palpable and made it easier to smile.

Fyonnaa nodded. "Certainly. I haven't had much of a chance to explore, either."

"Oh, thank you!"


	12. After Belsavis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zenith listens when Fyo has a crisis of confidence.

"Fyo?" Zenith caught her arm after the call ended and everyone scattered to go their separate ways on the ship. "You all right?"

She shook her head and glanced around them. She caught Iresso's eye and gestured to the cockpit. He nodded and headed that way. Fyonnaa then took Zenith's arm and led him to her quarters. He balked at the threshold, uncertain. She gave him an exasperated look. "We need to talk in private and no one will disturb us here."

"Very well." He reluctantly entered, glancing around to note the few touches that marked this space as _hers_ : a holoimage of her mother on the table next to the bed, the warstaff she'd used as her weapon of choice up until recently hung on one bulkhead. The saberstaff she currently used hung from her belt. At first glance, it looked as if matching lightsabers hung above the warstaff. Something made him take a closer look and he realized that they were actually pieces of a saberstaff that had been broken apart. A computer waited patiently on the desk, several datapads stacked beside it.

When he turned back to face Fyonnaa, she had her hands propped on her hips, an amused smile on her face. "Are you done exploring?"

"For now." At her gesture, he sat on the couch beside her desk.

She pulled out her desk chair and sat in it. Once she did, she sighed and rubbed her temples. "You asked if I'm all right and honestly, I'm not."

"Why not?" Zenith leaned forward, elbows on his knees. "What's wrong?"

Fyonnaa sighed again and picked up one of the datapads on her desk. "Do you realize that I'm not even twenty-five yet?"

"Really?" She seemed older than that to him, but then, he hadn't had much of a chance to see her when she _wasn't_ playing the part of a wise Jedi Master.

She nodded, poking at the datapad a few times. "Yep. Honestly, if I'd had more typical training, I'd have been Master Yuon's Padawan for more than a few days."

"I read about that. You not only found a lost artifact, but also fought and killed your share of Flesh Raiders armed only with a vibrosword and the Force." That had been in the information packet Tai had given him before he'd joined the other ambassadors aboard her ship. It had also included the events that had led to her receiving the title of Barsen'thor.

Fyonnaa gave a soft laugh, tossing the datapad back onto her desk. "You _would_ have picked up on that. My point is that I'm very young to be a Jedi Master and now I have a Padawan to train. I barely know what I'm doing myself. How can I teach someone else?"

"Senator Grell saw something in you and that's why he asked that you train Miss Grell." Zenith clasped his hands together between his knees, remembering their conversation on Quesh. She'd voiced her doubts and worries to him then, too. He wondered why she chose to confide in him and not someone else.

Shaking her head, she removed her headband and set it on her desk. "No, I think he requested me because he knew me best of all the Jedi masters."

"You underestimate yourself." How could she not see how extraordinary she was? Despite her doubts about being the right person to help the Rift Alliance, she'd taken on the job. He knew enough about the Jedi Code by now to know that she didn't always follow it, but she seemed to understand that sometimes the right decision wasn't the 'light' one. "Besides, you'll have time to figure out how you're going to teach her. Grief like hers--"

Fyonnaa waved her hand, cutting him off. "I know. I helped ease it for her temporarily, but it'll take time for her to feel ready to officially begin her training."

"Exactly. That'll give _you_ time to prepare to teach her." He smiled reassuringly, glad that she'd understood where he was going. "And get used to the idea that you're the teacher now."

She sighed softly and stood up once more, removing her cloak. "I've made some bad decisions in my life and the consequences--"

"Fyo--" He stood up when she froze in the middle of the room, clutching her cloak to herself.

The Jedi shook her head briefly. "It's-- I can't talk about it, but there's a reason I only recently started using a lightsaber again."

"Again?" Zenith repeated, and then looked at the warstaff and broken saberstaff on the wall. "That's why you were using the warstaff?"

She nodded, moving to the hook next to the door and hanging her cloak on it. "Yes, and why I sympathized with Komi so much." He took a moment to remember the human female who'd helped them on Belsavis. Fyonnaa had insisted on speaking with her before they left. Whatever she'd said, Komi had looked marginally better afterwards. Fyonnaa's voice broke into his thoughts. "The consequences of that decision were so horrible that I didn't even feel worthy of using a lightsaber at all. The weapon of my Order and I--"

"It's all right." He gently clasped her shoulder. Whatever she'd done, it still haunted her. "I won't push you. Tell me when and if you feel ready."

"Thanks, Zenith." Much to his surprise, she turned and wrapped her arms around his waist, pressing her face into his chest.

A little awkwardly, he carefully slipped his arms around her shoulders, once again reminded of how fragile she was, both physically and in other ways. "You're welcome."


	13. Voss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zenith is worried about the consequences of Fyonnaa sacrificing some of her strength to heal Gaden-Ko, so he asks Tharan to check her over.

"I really don't think this is necessary Zenith." Fyonnaa, arms folded across her chest, glared up at her fellow Twi'lek.

The former resistance fighter, arms also folded across his chest, glared right back at her. "Voss healing is different. Don't know how it affects non-Voss."

"All they did was use some of my life energy to heal Gaden-Ko." She shook her head, exasperated. "It wasn't any different from shielding the Masters from the plague."

That's when Tharan cleared his throat to announce his presence. She turned to him with a smile while Zenith simply transferred his glare to the human. "If that's all they did, then there's no harm in my scanning you, Fyo."

"Fine, just do it." She sat down on the bench the scientist indicated.

As he pulled out his portable scanner and used it, Tharan asked, "What exactly happened to Gaden-Ko that he required healing?"

"Sith stabbed him with a poisoned dagger." Zenith still glowered as he stood over the other two. "Used a Republic poison, hoping to frame us for his murder. If not for Fyo, he would have succeeded."

She snorted and pointed up at him. "You helped me kill him and remembered to pick up the dagger so the Voss would have a sample of the poison. I was more worried about Gaden-Ko at that point."

"Standard procedure in the Resistance." He shrugged, looking uncomfortable yet pleased. "Need a sample of the poison to counteract it."

Tharan interjected before Fyonnaa could say anything. "It's standard procedure in most places when poisoning has occurred. Whatever the Voss did, they didn't seem to need it."

"No, their treatment seems to be the same regardless of ailment." She looked at him curiously. "Well, Tharan, am I going to live?"

He nodded after a brief examination of the readout on his scanner. "Of course. You've lost some of your life energy, just like when you shielded the Masters, but it appears to be temporary."

"Exactly as I thought." She looked up at Zenith with a smirk. "Nothing to worry about."

He finally dropped his arms and looked away, his expression inscrutable. "It looked painful."

"Would you rather I had let him die?" She stood up, lightly touching his arm.

He looked back at her, catching her small hand in his. "No! I almost wish you'd asked _me_ to do it instead, though."

"I'll keep that in mind for future reference." Fyonnaa squeezed his hand.

Tharan wondered if they even remembered he was there as Zenith told her, his expression intent, "If it'll save you from pain like what I saw earlier, I'd do it in a heartbeat."

"You're sweet." She stretched up on tiptoe to kiss his cheek. Then she turned to Tharan. "Thank you for coming, even if it was for nothing."

He smiled and kissed her cheek, watching the other male out of the corner of his eye. The violet eyes narrowed into a glare. "It was nothing, Fyo. I'd rather be summoned needlessly than _not_ be summoned when I truly _am_ needed."

"Understood." She caught his hand and squeezed it lightly. "I don't know how much longer this is going to take."

Tharan returned the squeeze. "We're fine. Nadia says it feels very peaceful here."

"It does at that." The Twi'lek smiled softly. "Tell her she's welcome to learn about the Voss. Their ways aren't the Jedi way, but that's not a _bad_ thing."

He stifled a grimace at the thought of Force nonsense. It didn't make sense to his rational mind, but he couldn't deny that it worked. "I will. You be careful out there." He glanced at Zenith to include him. "Both of you."

"We will." The male Twi'lek nodded briefly, and then looked at the female. "Fyo?"

She nodded and released Tharan's hand to head off with Zenith. The scientist watched them go thoughtfully. _If I'm not mistaken, he has feelings for her, though I'm not sure he realizes it yet._ He watched as the two Twi'leks stopped at a food cart and Zenith bought a pastry. When he offered it to Fyonnaa, she accepted it with a bright smile that Tharan hadn't seen before. _Hmm, this bears watching. This could end badly._


	14. Corellia and After

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dealing with the First Son and the aftermath isn't easy.

Tharan busied himself with his medkit as Fyonnaa talked to the others: "Go to the spaceport and stay off that knee, Lieutenant."

"I'll be fine. Don't worry about me." Iresso tried to brush it off.

Her tone made it clear that she wasn't having any of it. "If one of your soldiers tried to insist on fighting with an injury like that, would you let them?"

"No, but--" he stopped and sighed. "As you say. I just want to help."

She caught his hand and squeezed it. "You helped a lot just by bringing us this information."

"I'm glad Jedi don't believe in shooting the messenger." He chuckled ruefully.

Nadia appeared at his side then, stretching up to kiss his cheek. "Never, Lieutenant. This was information we _needed_ and you got it for us."

"It's good to know the true face of our enemy." Zenith added, violet eyes serious. Tharan fought the urge to flinch at his words. He couldn't think of Syo as his enemy, he just couldn't.

Iresso held up his hands. "All right, I get it. I'm going to the spaceport now."

"We can stick around if you need us, Master," Nadia told Fyonnaa once the lieutenant left.

The Twi'lek shook her head. "No, you go with Gaden-Ko and the others. I'll have Tharan and Qyzen with me."

"Watch yourself, Fyo," Zenith told her after Nadia left, his voice slightly less gruff.

She smiled and kissed his cheek. "You, too, Zenith. Don't forget that the First Son is also Master Syo. We _have_ to try to reach _him_."

"I don't fully understand, but I'll take your word for it." He leaned down and kissed her cheek. "See you."

After he'd followed the others, Qyzen addressed her. _"Is like Lord Vivicar, Herald. Not himself."_

"I'd already thought of that, old friend," she admitted, sounding troubled.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Tharan asked, "Do you intend to kill Master Syo, too?"

"No!" She shook her head quickly. "I learned my lesson from Lord Vivicar. If I can stop the First Son without killing Master Syo, I will."

Tharan nodded, feeling ashamed that he'd even _thought_ she would do so. He knew that decision still haunted her. She'd even stopped using a saberstaff for a time because of it. _She doesn't even feel worthy of the title of Barsen'thor._

_"Would be great loss if he died. Yuon greatly respected him,"_ Qyzen offered after a few moments of silence.

Fyonnaa sighed deeply. "He's a valuable member of the Jedi Order and the Council. That's why it's such a blow that _he's_ the First Son."

_"Yes. Will wait outside, Herald."_ The Trandoshen nodded to both of them, and then left.

Tharan let his shoulders slump now that they were alone. "I can't believe that it's Syo. All these years and we never had _any_ idea."

"That's the point." Her voice was gentle as she rested a hand on his arm. "We weren't _meant_ to know until it was too late."

He nodded, covering her hand with his. "In a way, it makes sense that the First Son is a Jedi Master. He'd _have_ to be powerful to hide all the other Children of the Emperor."

"It doesn't make this situation any easier." She gently turned him to face her. "Will you be able to fight him if it comes down to it?"

The scientist managed a jerky nod. "If it will help Syo, I can do it."

"Let me know if that changes." She squeezed his hands gently. "I'm almost certain this will come down to a fight and I need to know that you have my back."

Tharan managed a sad smile, hugging her. "You can count on me, Fyo."

"Thanks, Tharan."

* * *

"How did your meeting with the Masters go?" Nadia asked when her master returned to their suite on Coruscant.

Fyonnaa sighed deeply as she removed her cloak. "Exhausting. They couldn't understand why I would want to turn down a seat on the Jedi Council."

"They were trying to reward you for everything you've done." She knew, however, that the Twi'lek hadn't _felt_ rewarded when Master Satele announced it at the ceremony.

She hung the cloak next to the door as she shook her head. "I know, but it wasn't a reward, not for me. Not after what I've done."

"You've never really explained to me why you don't like being called the Barsen'thor." Nadia voiced the thought hesitantly, surprised by the guilt and remorse that flowed through Fyonnaa at her simple statement.

Sighing deeply, the Twi'lek flopped down onto the sofa. "Are you sure you wish to hear about this, Nadia?"

"I'm sure." She perked up, eager to hear.

After another sigh, her master nodded. "Very well. Several of our Jedi Masters were sick with a dark plague and only an ancient shielding technique could save them. A shielding technique only I knew. I had to track down the masters and shield each of them, hopefully learning about the Sith causing the plague along the way. With Master Yuon's help, I tracked him down and--" here, she paused and swallowed hard. "I killed him. In killing him, however, I also killed every Jedi he'd infected, including the Masters I'd shielded. I did more damage to the Order with one blow of my lightsaber than any Sith could ever hope to do with a lifetime of slaughter."

Fyonnaa stopped and buried her face in her hands. Nadia could feel her grief and regret and quickly rose to join her master. "You couldn't have known. You thought you were doing the best for the Order."

"He _warned_ me!" Though her voice was muffled, Nadia could hear clearly enough. "Said that killing him meant killing every Jedi he'd had contact with, but I did it anyway. I was so _angry_ with him, angry that he'd caused people to suffer. They-- they paid the ultimate price. All those deaths have weighed on me ever since. Then! The Council named me Barsen'thor!" Her laugh held no humor. "Warden of an Order I'd nearly decimated! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry after _that_ meeting. I-- I couldn't use that saberstaff anymore. Not the one that had killed so many. I broke it half and refused to use another until I felt I'd earned it."

" _That's_ why you were using a warstaff when we first met!" That had always puzzled Nadia and now she understood.

The Twi'lek nodded. "Yes. Qyzen gave it to me. He didn't understand why so many deaths caused me pain, but he tried to help in his way. Then I was named as the Council's representative to the Rift Alliance and made a master on top of it. And now you're my Padawan. It's all been too much, too fast."

"I learned a lot just from watching you, Fyo." She used the nickname to show that she was speaking to the other female as a friend. "I don't think you give yourself enough credit."

Another humorless laugh. "You know, half the time, I'm barely holding onto my composure as it is? There are times I've wanted to scream or cry, but I've held it in because I'm a Jedi Master. A Council member on top of that? I just-- no. I'm deeply honored, but I'm not ready for it."

"Did you tell them all of this?" Nadia got the sense that all of this had been building inside the other female for some time.

Fyonnaa nodded, smiling sadly. "Not all of it, but enough for them to understand that they've overwhelmed me. They agreed to choose someone else to take Master Syo's place."

"I'm glad _you_ were picked to help the Rift Alliance." She took the orange hands in her pale ones and squeezed gently. "You've become a good friend to me, regardless."

This time, Fyonnaa's smile was warm as she returned the squeeze. "I'm glad for your friendship, too, Nadia."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realized that I'd never really showed how Fyo dealt with the consequences of her decision to kill Vivicar, beyond her talk with Ranna. That was the just the immediate fallout and such a decision would affect her in the long run. I've shown hints, but I figured the Council seat would be too much for Fyo and she'd turn it down.


	15. Admissions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fyo and Zenith admit some things to each other.

She found Zenith seated on top of the building they were using, tucked into a corner as he watched the speeders fly by. He shifted to give her room and she sat down beside him with a deep sigh. After several minutes of silence, he asked, "You glad to get the Rift Alliance off your ship, Fyo?"

"Yes and no." She didn't dare look at him, not yet. "It'll be nice to have fewer people around, fewer emotions to deal with."

He shifted slightly and she could feel him looking at her. "But?"

"I'm going to miss some of them," she admitted this with a quiet sigh, watching him out of the corner of her eye.

Zenith looked back at the speeders. "Miss Grell is your Padawan, she's not going anywhere."

"I already knew that." She rolled her eyes. "Lieutenant Iresso is staying on as well, to help protect me. As if I can't protect myself."

The other Twi'lek shrugged. "Can't be too careful. You've become very well-known. Could be lots of Sith and Imps gunning for you."

"Sith don't use guns." She hid a smile.

He sighed and nudged her with his elbow. "You know what I mean."

"Yes, I do." She squirmed, trying not to giggle, because he'd found one of her ticklish spots. Sobering, she added, "I don't know if anyone else from the Rift Alliance is staying. The lieutenant isn't exactly a politician."

They sat in silence for a few more moments before he sighed deeply. "Tai asked me to stay on as the Rift Alliance's representative on your vessel or wherever you end up stationed."

"He did?" She fought to keep her voice level, to not get her hopes up just yet. "What did you say? Will you be sticking around?"

Zenith shrugged. "Hadn't decided. On the one hand, I miss Balmorra. I'd like to see how it looks without all the fighting. On the other hand, I've seen and done a lot while helping you. I'd miss it if I went back to Balmorra."

"I'd miss _you_ if you went back," she admitted in a low voice, hardly daring to breathe. This was the closest she'd come to acknowledging out loud that her feelings for him were stronger than they should be, than was _appropriate_ , but she'd never been much for following the Jedi Code.

He turned to face her fully, but she kept her eyes focused on the speeders. Until he gently cupped her chin in his hand turned her face to his. "Miss me, Fyo? As a friend?"

"As more than that, to tell the truth." She smiled shakily, reaching up to take his hands in hers, holding them tightly. "Every time I felt uncertain, every time I doubted myself, you were there to support me. You let me _be_ and that meant so much to me."

Violet eyes intent, he told her, "I'd no idea how much stress and pressure you must've felt until Quesh. After that, I did everything I could to help, to make it easier for you. Besides, not many Jedi would understand that sometimes the right decision isn't the 'light' one, as you'd call it. There are some people who need to die--"

"--But there are some who can be saved." She smiled, remembering one of their conversations on this very topic. "I know Tharan is fond of me and Iresso seems to like me, too, but I don't care about them the same way I do you, Zenith."

He smiled then, the first genuine smile she'd seen from him and it took her breath away. "Then I'll stay. There's nowhere I'd rather be than by your side, Fyo."

"You're the one I trust most to have my back, Zenith." Smiling, she stretched up to lightly brush her lips across his. He responded in kind, and they settled into the corner together, just enjoying each other's company.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Why can't we romance Zenith? There's so much potential. *harrumphs*


	16. Shadows of Revan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zenith was hurt and Lana saved him. He'll TRY to be nicer to her.

Zenith woke slowly, sluggishly, and fought back a surge of panic. _Balmorra's been free for_ years _. There's no need to panic._ With some effort, he managed to open his eyes and take in his surroundings: the safehouse in Raider's Cove. _Right, attacked by..._ something _. Can't remember what._ He spotted Fyonnaa in a chair by his cot, chin resting on her chest as she slept, both of her hands clasping one of his. Even in sleep, her brow was furrowed in worry, for him. _Not used to having anyone care about me._ Looking past her, he spotted Beniko on the other cot, a blanket draped over her slumbering form. _She didn't have to offer to heal me. I've been nothing but suspicious and wary of her since we met. Guess she's all right. For a Sith, anyway._

He tensed when he heard footsteps, only to relax when Agent Shan entered, carrying a box. The SIS agent smiled when he noticed Zenith watching him. "Good to see you're awake. Gave us a bit of a scare."

"That... whatever caught me by surprise," he muttered, uncomfortable admitting it. "Not used to fighting animals."

Theron nodded and set the box on the table. "I get that. You up for food?"

"Yes," he admitted it reluctantly. He then tried to shift into a sitting position without disturbing Fyonnaa, but failed at the latter.

She stirred and lifted her head, smiling when she saw that he was awake and watching her. "How are you feeling, Zenith?"

"Better." He timidly tugged on her hands with his, wanting to hug her, but still hesitant to ask outright for one.

Still smiling, Fyonnaa shifted to perch on the cot beside him and hugged him tight. Over her shoulder, Zenith could see Shan watching them with raised eyebrows and glowered at the agent. Grinning, he turned back to the box he'd brought in, unpacking food from it. Voice muffled, Fyonnaa told him, "Stars, you scared me for a bit there."

"Sorry about that." He brushed his lips across her forehead, just below her headband. "Didn't _mean_ to get attacked."

She shifted so she could meet his eyes. "Can you try to be nicer to Lana now? She _did_ save your life, you know."

"I'll try. No promises." He knew Fyonnaa liked the Sith and it baffled him, but she was right. He owed his life to her.

Both of them jumped at the sound of the human female's voice. "I didn't save your life so you'd be nicer to me, Zenith. I saved it because it was the right thing to do."

She'd sat up, pale blonde hair a tangled mess, yellow eyes still fuzzy with sleep. After a moment, Zenith managed to grind out two words: "Thank you."

"You're welcome." Both Beniko and Fyonnaa smiled warmly at him.

"Who's up for food?" Theron interjected before Zenith could act on the impulse to kiss Fyonnaa's beautiful smile.

As they ate, he mused that it was probably for the best that he hadn't. _Not sure if she wants them to know about us._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for Fyo. We'll see what happens in the next expansion.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're wondering how to pronounce her name, it's a different spelling of 'Fiona'.


End file.
